Odd Man Out

Today was my first visit to the local church here in Rancho Cordova in over a decade. Its funny. I visited the chuch house in Mesa more times than I've ever visited the one here.
I walked in and looked around. I planned to sit in the back and observe and to listen. I had planned to stay under the radar... Had...
Her name was Stefanie and she invited me to sit with her and her family. The military would be envious of radar this accurate. Maybe I looked confused, maybe they just know everyone there, or maybe they're told by God.
I sang out of tune, and began to simply mouth the words. I'll work on following along with these hymn books before I work on singing them. I listened to testimonies and I wonder if one day I might be one of these people, so optimistic despite the troubles of this world.
Now, I do have a bone to pick with many of you whom I told I was doing this today. If you know something that I don't, please feel free to warn me. "Are you going to stay for the second hour?" Stefanie asked.
"Uhhh, I thought - ? Um, okay?"
Seriously, I thought classes were only for the little ones. Stefanie gave me the choice but since I was new, I decided I'd go where the new people went. It was a nice little class and it answered quite a lot of my questions about the Temple with having to actually ask, so that was a bonus.
To my teacher, I expressed my concerns about my mother after class. As you might have guessed, my mother knows nothing about this blog. We spoke with the Elders as well and soon, someone will get in touch with me to start my home lessons at too kindly, my teachers home. I won't get my lessons from the missionaries I met with. According to where I live, its the other ward's responsibility though I think I want to stay with the Rossmoor ward because my next door neighbors don't much like me and I try to avoid them. I was once best friends with their youngest girl and as many know about me, I have a tendency to burn bridges.
"Do you know where to go next?"
"Um, uh, no."
I was led to the room where the singing was coming from and I found a seat. Again, I was invited to sit by someone. Kindness and social behavior can make me uncomfortable. Its terrible, I know.
When all was done, the missionaries found me again and took me aside. They asked if I was baptized and I told them, "no."
"That's what I thought but people were saying you were."
This whole place already knew of my presence?
They explained the 18th of December, baptisms would be done. I nodded. "Will you follow Christ's example and be baptized?"
I yanked the Emergency Break. "I'm no where near ready for that. I haven't even finished reading the Book of Mormon. I want to be sure that this is what I want."
And here we are, home, typing this whole blog on my Blackberry because I'm too lazy to turn on my laptop. I wonder, is there something wrong with me or are these people just too friendly? Why is when someone tries to make me comfortable, I am at my most uncomfortable state of mind? They place their hands on my shoulder and I flinch!
I ask, what am I getting myself into?